Player Ensures That Twitter Profile Is Vague Enough To Allow Him To Play For Any Team

Tulsa, OK - United Soccer League (USL) player Ramon Sanchez admitted that he keeps his twitter profile and picture vague enough to allow him to play for any team in North America after online confrontations with upset fans from previous teams.

Learn from the best, kids.

Learn from the best, kids.

"It used to be that I updated my photo and my profile to fit my teams." said Sanchez in an exclusive Q&A with his nephews u-12 soccer team. "But now I realize that I need to have my twitter profile and picture be non-specific enough to ensure my employment with all the NPSL, MLS, USL, and CPL teams that I have a chance with signing."

Sanchez reportedly got in trouble six years ago with fans of the Rochester Rhinos by not switching his twitter profile fast enough as he had the wrong description and the wrong kind of kit in his photo, and he vowed after that to ensure that his picture was a simple headshot with a nondescript description such as "Child of God, professional wanderer". Sanchez admitted that he pays his publicist to ensure that his account only reposts the most banal quotes and statements before games.

"I've really stopped using twitter altogether and just use it to ensure that I send out my notifications for the new Nike boots, or I'll have my publicist send out information that makes it seem like I'm online." said Sanchez. "It's the only healthy way to live."

Fans with the Tulsa Roughnecks reportedly appreciate the complete lack of effort that Sanchez gives with his Twitter account as they stated, "He really seems to enjoy getting out and taking nondescript pictures of buildings and dogs. It's pretty impressive."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Sanchez admits he hasn't logged into his Twitter account in over two years.