"Attempted Destruction Of Columbus Crew Now Don Garber's Long Term Legacy," Say Fans

The association of soccer fans in the United States, Canada and select parts of the world paying attention all agreed that the attempted absolute destruction of the Columbus Crew would be considered Don Garber's long term legacy from here on out regardless of what happens.

"I'll move your club just as soon as I can find another city ready to take it."

"I'll move your club just as soon as I can find another city ready to take it."

We spoke to Columbus native Dale Gillfry who stated, "All I think about when it comes to Don Garber is his willful destruction of the team that I love and grew up watching. I think about the fact that he stood by and facilitated a snake oil salesman moving the team that I love away from the city that I love. My dad took me to games. I've taken my kids to games. This is encouraged theft and Garber is responsible."

Our reporters spoke to soccer fans from Los Angeles to New York and despite their investment in Major League Soccer, all acknowledged their understanding of Garber's legacy in killing the Crew.

"Yeah, Donnie just stood by, accepted his Soccer Hall Of Fame induction and tried to kill MLS in Columbus, didn't he?" stated Galaxy fan David Gutierrez.

"It's amazing that the Commissioner of the league just screwed all these fans out of their history," stated Sporting Kansas City fan Deborah Hays.

"I don't really find it that surprising," stated San Jose fan James Wilson. "He tried to screw us over and has a history of not caring about the fans at all. So the fact that he would actively facilitate salting the earth in Columbus seems like par for the course for him."

According to league biographers, Garber is a saint who kept the league alive. However, according to fans, his history will always be one of inventing a myriad of byzantine rules that obfuscate the acquisition process to an insane degree, going against organized labor, killing the original San Jose Earthquakes, the Columbus Crew, Chivas USA, the Miami Fusion, and the Tampa Bay Mutiny, and attempting to put three teams in Texas.

"If you look at it one way, the dude is a straight up club serial killer," stated D.C. United fan Paul Kovacevich. "Granted a few of them were a reality of business, but you almost have to respect a league that cares so little it will intentionally disenfranchise the fans, however small, of five separate teams in 17 years."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the league tries to figure out a way to spin this whole situation as a positive.