Strange Man In Company Bathroom Exuberantly Cheering Bowel Movement

NEW YORK - A strange man in the company bathroom of Cophesus Enterprises was reportedly exuberantly cheering his bowel movement as he yelled, "COME ON, GET STUCK IN," while stamping his foot.


People on the 15th floor of the IBM Building at 590 Madison Avenue report that the man, who is identified only by his brown leather shoes, took up residence in the stall around 2:00 pm, and has been vociferously cheering since then.

"I went in to take a leak and he just yelled, 'HELL YES,' while banging on the stall doors," stated copywriter Nathan Henderson. "Honestly, I'm a bit afraid to go back in there if he is trying that hard to poop."

Co-workers with Cophesus Enterprises state that it has to be an employee that works there as the restroom has a code lock on it, but no one is willing to look in the stall to verify who is struggling so much on the toilet.

"I just asked him if he was ok," stated compliance officer Steven Bowman. "He responded by screaming, 'OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, IT'S COMING HOME! ITS COMING HOME!' To be honest, I think I'm going to report this to human resources."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as a debate emerges on whether they should call the building security on the individual whose now been in the stall for over 45 minutes.