THE UNITED STATES - The Google search function crashed immediately following the England v Croatia game as sports journalists across the United States looked up the population of Croatia in order to utilize that statistic in their lede, columns and analysis about the game.
"I was planning on writing about how Croatia is the size of some random po-dunk town in the United States," stated one anonymous Sports Illustrated writer.
"I was going to write a scathing column comparing the size of Croatia and the size of the United States in condemning the US Soccer Federation development tactics," stated one anonymous Washington Post writer
"I just needed some filler to open up my column," stated and ESPN FC writer on a deadline.
Engineers with Google say that searches of "Croatia Population" spiked 1000% over such searches as, "Is Harry Kane's mouth always that way?" and "Where does Mario Mandžukić play and is he related to Mario Lemiux somehow?" and "How can I connect Lebron James to Luka Modric."
"Look, I just need the information for my stinger so that I can pepper my column with some insight," stated an SB Nation blogger who was working for free and unable to pay his water bill.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as multiple columns contrast Croatia, Uruguay and the United States in terms of size and player development.