Major League Soccer Announces Fan Attendance Driven Relegation For Current Franchise Cities

NEW YORK - Major League Soccer (MLS) on Thursday announced a major development in their business structure with Fan Attendance Driven Relegation for current franchise cities as they stated, "No city that currently has a team is safe, anymore."

The fledgling league indicated that their desire to move franchises around to different cities will now be based entirely upon the performance of the fans at the gate. If fans in cities like Dallas, Houston, New York, Columbus, or New England do not show up with enough season ticket numbers they will move the team from that location to another location while keeping the nickname, tradition, front office staff and players.

"The bottom 3 teams in fan attendance will be removed from their cities, every year," stated MLS President Mark Abbot. "This move will happen regardless of success on the field, so if the MLS Cup Winner comes from Dallas, but they don't show up in the regular season, we will be moving them immediately following that season. It's important to note that we have no problem moving FC Dallas to Albuquerque if Albuquerque will show up in larger numbers than Dallas. This is a business not a charity. We are here to turn a profit and if fans won't compensate us we will move any and every single franchise to wherever we want. We will allow those fans to continue operating in the USL if they have a USL team, but they will be officially relegated from MLS. Honestly, we can all blame the fans for this, they are pretty awful."

According to inside sources, the league has already scouted a move for every team in the league regardless of current status with current standouts like Atlanta, Seattle, Kansas City, and Portland all being slated for moves should their attendance drop off.

"We will relegate those teams to another city immediately if there is even a 5% drop off in attendance, so this is really on the shoulders of the fans," stated Abbot. "We can't be to blame if the fans are to blame. It's really their fault that the team is moving, or terrible, or mismanaged.."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as MLS floats moving the Houston Dynamo to Boerne, Tx for six months just to see how things work out.