United States Promises To Be A World Leader In Child Internment Camps By 2022

WASHINGTON - Representatives of the government of the United States stated that they were working on a solution to become a world leader in Child Interment Camps by 2022 in an effort to compete with other countries on the global stage.


"We will have a vibrant and flourishing child interment league by 2022," stated United States director of Child Labor Kirstjen Nielsen. "We will absolutely be in the top 10 of nations across the world with regards to our child interment camps. You will see more and more international children coming to our interment camps and we plan on ensuring that we have the room and the cap space to lock down the all the best four, five and six year old children inside chain link, free range areas where they can get all the Fox News they can handle 24/7."

With the United States competing with established international players like North Korea, they have some work to do in order to catch up, however the Trump administration is working on a solution that will address the amount of children needed to break into the top 10.

"We are just going to take all children regardless of age and then force them into our holding facilities and we don't really give a shit what anyone thinks," stated Nielsen.

According to insider sources, the United States is working on a Child Interment Camp Champions League for all nations that qualify with enough detained 3 year olds that have enough talent to set the nation apart on the global stage.

"I can't wait to win the Champions League," stated Child Interment Camp fan Dave Henderson of Dallas, Texas. "Those kids deserve what they got. If I had my way we would institute corporal punishment for every single person across the border. Just start cutting off hands at the wrists. That's the way forward for this country. Let's return to the Christian values this nation was founded upon, the mass genocide of the indigenous peoples and incarceration of anyone that doesn't look like me."

The Nutmeg News will have another drink, please.