Major League Soccer Is About To Introduce, "WTF," A New Pool Of Money For, "Whatever"

NEW YORK - Insiders with Major League Soccer indicate that the league will soon introduce, "WTF," an acronym that stands for "Whatever The Fuck," which will be a new pool of money for, "Whatever the fuck you want to spend it on that might increase the profile of the league in some small way."

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WTF money will join YTF, TAM, GAM, DP, Young DP, Heineken DP GAM TAM journeyman players, Uruguayan International funding deposits, the Landon Donovan Human Fund, MTMLS (Messi to MLS), GMA, PDA, PDF, TTL, and WLAFCWUTNSTCITL (Whatever LA FC Wants Until The Next Sexy Team Comes Into The League) as financial mechanisms.

Teams are, reportedly, lining up to utilize the new mechanism with Atlanta United already announcing that it procured 2.8 million dollars from DC United in WTF spending to fly players from the stadium pre-game meal to the walk in to the stadium instead of bussing them there.

Meanwhile, sources with LA Galaxy announce that they are using their WTF money to offer a contract extension to Pete Vagenas.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as teams figure out more interesting ways to spend their WTF money.