Richmond Kickers Fan Revels In Warm Embrace Of Crushing Depression As USL Season Kicks Off

Richmond, VA - Kickers fan Carolyn Burtois stated that she was reveling in the warm embrace of crushing depression as the return of the blues signified another USL Season and another Kickers loss.

Isn't it great to have soccer back?

"I'm very sad and upset about this loss to Bethlehem," stated Burtois to The Nutmeg News. "And I'm very happy to be very sad and upset, as well. It's a complex time for me."

Burtois stated that the return of crushing depression and disappointment is always a sign that soccer has returned as the Kickers attempt to strive towards a return to the USL Playoffs.

"My co-workers knew that soccer was back because I didn't want to talk to anyone on Monday and I just sat there steeping my tea," stated Burtois. "My inability to function normally after a loss and my moody obsession with how the team is doing even one week into the season is a really comforting thing to return to in this time of political insanity."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Burtois pulls out her warm sweater that she wears around the apartment every time she needs to pace after a Kickers loss.