CHICAGO - The search for the National Women's Soccer League (NWSL) commissioner ramped up, on Monday, as the league released some sketches and missing person notifications for the position that over one year later still has not been filled
"We realized that our exhaustive search hadn't explored all the possibilities," stated NWSL director of personnel Susan Collins. "We were thinking about recruiters, but then realized that since we were MISSING a commissioner that we should just start with that idea. Like what would you do if you were missing a dog... or a couch... or a vintage gramophone? CRAIGLIST, FLIERS AND WANTED ADS!"
Reportedly, the league tasked some of their amateur players to go around the Chicago neighborhood where the NWSL front office resides and hand fliers out to pedestrians while asking them if they've seen the NWSL Commissioner. While other interns with the league front office reportedly searched for NWSL Commissioners on Craigslist.
"Our exhaustive search for the NWSL Commissioner will leave no stone unturned," stated Collins. "We will do everything in our power to search for the commissioner who we think was called Jeff, or something. Who knows. Either way, we tried yelling out the front door. We tried cold calling people. We even started a Facebook group, but we lost control of that when Christen Press fans decided to turn it into a place to write fan fiction. In the end, we are still looking for a Commissioner, so if you see one.... let us know."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the NWSL approaches year 2 of the great Commissioner search.