"I Was Too Busy Getting More Toilet Paper Rolls To Throw On The Field To Yell A Homophobic Slur," Argues LAFC Fan

LOS ANGELES - While Los Angeles Football Club (LAFC) were upset by Real Salt Lake (RSL) in the opening game of the Major League Soccer (MLS) playoffs, LAFC fan Kyle Schwarber stated that he wasn’t involved in the bad behavior as he argued, “I was too busy getting more toilet paper rolls to throw on the field to yell a homophobic slur,” to his online friends.

 “You can’t hear the fans all yelling the same slur from a picture!”

“You can’t hear the fans all yelling the same slur from a picture!”

Schwarber attempted to defend his fellow fans over what he deemed a, “witch hunt over some minor bad behavior that resulted from like one or two people,” as he admitted that he spent part of the second half trying to find any projectiles that he could use to throw on the field at the end of the game.

“It’s important to let them know we are here,” stated Schwarber as he intentionally aimed a piece of ice towards a substitute only to have it bounce off the head of a fellow fan below him. “But I don’t think we have bad fans, and obviously the chant really isn’t homophobic because we don’t mean it that way in our hearts, you feel me? Even though I DEFINITELY wasn’t doing any of the chanting and nobody in my area was either, definitely, but even if people were, which they weren’t, it isn’t homophobic because… look…. you KNOW we aren’t homophobic. I mean, we had like a rainbow flag thing at one point.”

Schwarber went on to say, “some of my best friends are gay so I’m definitely not homophobic, I just think they are making too big a deal of this whole deal, but like I said I wasn’t the one doing the chant anyway and no one was in my section,” as he threw a full toilet paper roll towards Real Salt Lake goalkeeper Nick Rimando at the end of the game.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as, shockingly, every single LAFC fan claims that no one in their section was doing the chant.