Orlando, FL - Soccer supporter and software developer Paul Brown celebrated a successful 30 day Agile Scrum with an in office pyro display as the scrum master indicated that Mr. Brown’s core development team successfully finished a cycle by moving from the iteration review to the retrospective ceremony.
“FUCK YEAH!,” stated Mr. Brown as he pulled on a balaclava he bought from Ultras-tifo.net and popped off two flares he specially purchased in company colors. “LETS GO FUCKING MENTAL!”
Brown was reportedly excited by the slow and patient buildup with the UI development and core product development brought together by his new scrum master Jurgen Petrovich of Germany stating, “This is why we brought in a foreign manager, to push us to new heights! It’s exactly why Klinsmann didn’t get enough time on the job.”
Mr. Petrovich stated, “Without Ultras there is no passion,” before he received a strongly worded email from human resources requesting his presence at a mediation and employee review ad-hoc set up in the company standup room.
“We must always transition between attack and defense in equal measures,” stated Mr. Brown. “I’ve been waiting for this moment all year and I don’t care if the old bill comes down here busting heads, I’m gonna celebrate with the lads!”
Mr Brown then ripped off his shirt and was reported to human resources for requesting his male and female coworkers to go, “FULL TITS OUT FOR THE LADS IN QA.”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as a new handbook policy is added to address pyro displays in the office.