NEW YORK - Between futsal, rec league, and outdoor teams needing a woman soccer player, local woman Stephanie Rodriguez admitted that she is now scheduled for 36 soccer matches this week.
"It started by me showing up for a local club team that needed a woman in order to not forfeit," stated Ms. Rodriguez to The Nutmeg News. "Once they found out that I was a decent player that was #1 - A woman and #2 - On Time, my calendar started to get filled."
According to friends, Rodriguez began retreating from social events around this time as she was continually rescheduling her schedule in order to accommodate the increasing amount of games she was supposed to play.
"I'm scheduled with The Despacitos, The Cyclones, Atlas Unidos, Barra Beverage, Chelsea United, The Brooklyn Burn, Midtown AC, Wall Street Barons, Harlem United, Queens SC, Queens FC, Queens United, Queens United FC, Queens AC United FC, Staten Island Hot Dogs, Bill's Randy Hornswagglers AC, The Rangers, The Celtic, The Celtic Rangers, The Dancing Bares United, Carl's Urban Explorers, The Little Lebowskis, NotEatingHam Forest, and Williams And Sonoma of 5th... which honestly may just be a shopping date with my friend Carla that I probably need to cancel."
Rodriguez states that she would cancel her appearance at a few games but that all 36 teams that she is playing for over the next 7 days would be unable to play as they lack the requisite number of women players in order to take the field.
"I would just feel horrible if that was the case."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Rodriguez collapses from the exertion on Saturday only to have her teammates prop her up on the field with some sunglasses in a Weekend At Bernies attempt to continue playing.