Boston, MA - Manchester United fan Jamal Henderson admitted that the end of the premier league season requires him to find a new 7:30 in the morning television broadcast sport in order to continue drinking before 8:00 am.
Put your hands up if you are drinking before 10:00 am!
"When all the games you watch are away games, it becomes very easy to reconcile cracking a tall cold one at 6:30 or 7:00 am with your breakfast on Saturday," stated Henderson to The Nutmeg News. "I realized that now that the Premier League is over that I don't have that built in excuse. A man drinking at 7:00 am with soccer is just delightful rogue enjoying life, but a guy out drinking at 7:00 am just to drink is an alcoholic."
Henderson acknowledged that his children usually wake up around 9:00am so it is imperative that he find something that allows him to drink responsibly before they wake up.
"I want to be at least a couple beers into my day in order to handle being around them. When my wife finally rolls out of bed hungover around 10:30, I want to have a minimum of three. There's no way I'm going to be able to drink to 6:45 am reruns of Bob Ross. I need some kind of sport, any kind of sport."
According to inside sources, Henderson looked up whether Quidditch UK streams their games before turning to youtube live to see if there was anyone playing an obscure sport that would make him feel like picking up a case of Dogfish Head for Saturday mornings.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Henderson debates just re-playing previous season games in an attempt at keeping the feeling alive.