Man Slowly Ramps Up Alcohol Consumption To Prepare For Season

LOS ANGELES - With three weeks til the Major League Soccer season begins, soccer fan Paul Sanchez is slowly ramping up his alcohol consumption to increase his tolerance as he stated, "I need to be ready for the amount of drinking involved with soccer."

PRE-SEASON TRAINING!  Photo Credit: Jon Feingersh/Blend Images/Getty Images


Photo Credit: Jon Feingersh/Blend Images/Getty Images

Sanchez stated that during the 2016 pre-season, he didn't do enough work on his tolerance and he suffered after games.

"I'd have three or four beers before the game during the tailgate. Then I'd have three of four beers during the game, and then I'd have a beer or two after the game; and I would have a raging hangover the next day. I can't show up at the office and try to work with a splitting headache."

Sanchez then realized he needed to work on his tolerance for the 2017 pre-season.

"I'm doing a lot of dead lifts with beers like Natty Light and Milwaukee's Best. Then I'm cross training with a specific selection of bottom shelf liquors. These are mostly whisky and tequila shots with a smattering of random jello shots mixed in to prepare for a wildcard tailgate staple. I'm compounding this with some weekend drinking from craft brews to ensure that I can handle the ABV difference. It's important to cross train if you are going to get all around fitness on beers."

Reportedly, it isn't just beer fitness that has Mr Sanchez training but also the off-season shakeup of the LA Galaxy as he stated, "Have you seen our lineup? I don't even know what to expect. I'm likely going to be doing a LOT of post-game drinking this season. My friends don't think it's a problem if you have one drink a night, so why does everyone freak out if you have two... or three a night... or maybe even four? Or look, sometimes you have to go to that other party and they have a drink there. Then you have dinner, and you aren't going to serve that without wine, right? And everyone knows that you can't have weekend breakfast without a red beer. And then there's a game on Friday, so you are drinking there and you wake up on Saturday with a hangover so the best cure is a beer with some early morning European soccer, and there's a Xolos game on at night, and you aren't going to watch that without a beer. It's all just cross training."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Sanchez realizes he needs to sober up for the month of June.