Upbeat Chicago Fire Fan Now Has More Hope For Team Than Country

CHICAGO - Long suffering Chicago Fire fan Pedro Guzman admitted that he now has more hope for the future of the Chicago Fire than he has for the United States.

Welcome Dax! Goodbye freedoms!

Welcome Dax! Goodbye freedoms!

"Things really changed around the election," stated Guzman to The Nutmeg News. "It was around that time when the Fire acquired Dax McCarty and the United States elected a fascist, racist, xenophobic, misogynist, and possibly insane President. It was at this point that I realized I actually believed more in the Fire's 2017 chances than the United States."

Guzman stated that the collapse of his government and the social order of the United States into relentless sniping and political chaos gave him a positive outlook on the 2017 season as he stated, "There's no way that the Fire will be worse in 2017 than the United States. The front office only spent like 400k on Dax McCarty. The US government is trying to spend 15 Billion dollars on a wall. Shit, they coulda got Sean Johnson for less than that."

While traditionally pessimistic about the Fire, Guzman admits that the downward trend of the nation robbed him of his cynical nature towards sports.

"Don't get it confused. The United States is completely and utterly fucked. We are talking about a country that is still bitterly licking wounds from a conflict fought 152 years ago over slave holding white men. There's no way we recover from anything that happened recently and we are only at the beginning. Half the country hates the people that are my ancient heritage for roughly no reason other than they are completely saturated with fear and ignorance. To be honest, I'm pretty used to that. Mexican-American people and their families remain one of the traditional boogeymen of racist people in the United States since the time of Antonio López de Santa Anna. By comparison, the Fire are looking pretty decent in the midfield, for the first time in the longest time I can remember."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Guzman even considers attending a game with Sector Latino this season.