Continuously Rolling David Villa Shuts Down New York City Traffic

NEW YORK - Sanitation engineers in Manhattan were called out to sweep up an endlessly rolling David Villa as the NYCFC player continued his path down Jerome Avenue, across the bridge and into Harlem blocking traffic for miles on end throughout the city.

"When the hell is he going to stop rolling?" stated crew leader Stanley Richards of Redhook, Brooklyn. "We tried to wait him out, but it seems as though the wind just keeps blowing him over and over and over again through intersections, in front of cars and in front of bus lines."

Reportedly, the Spanish forward was set off after a tackle by Felipe Martins and just continued to roll out of the stadium, onto Jerome Ave, across the bridge and into Harlem where he continues his path into Manhattan and eventually to Newark.

"We are under strict orders to use non-lethal methods of picking up him, unless he reaches Wall Street at which point we have been given an entirely different set of orders, " stated Richards. "I'm just hoping for an autograph because it isn't often that a player of Villa's caliber comes rolling through here."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Hurricane Villa comes to an end.