Salt Lake City, UT - "It's not like back when I was 22 when I could drink all day without a problem, but I'm fine... I'm COMPLETELY FINE," stated Tim Brown of the Sugarhouse neighborhood while defying the advancement of his age that will require him to pay for his actions at the game on Saturday by being unable to move on Sunday.
"Every time he gets to the weekend and another home game, he promises me that he is going to take it easy," stated Mr. Brown's fiancee Jerry Stillwater. "Then he goes to the game, has a few beers, forgets how it makes him feel and the next thing you know he is jumping up and down on concrete, waving a flag and yelling profanities at the field. I keep telling him that he is 33, and he can't go to the game wearing a replica kit like a 14 year old kid, slamming beers in the parking lot, and jumping around like crazy. You have to have a bit of a limit and he is still realizing his."
While Mr. Brown was indisposed on Sunday to speak with The Nutmeg News, we caught up with him at The Park Cafe on Thursday morning to speak with him about his actions.
"Well, I went to the game, talked to some friends outside the stadium, which turned into talking to some of their friends, which continued into doing tequila shots with some 20 year old college kids at their first game that were hanging outside which lead to drunkenly singing songs, which lead to 6 Bud Lights during the game, which lead to me pulling my kit off and whirling it around my head around 70 minutes after the Yura goal which turned into a massive headache, a migraine most of Sunday, and needing to lie in a cool dark place to recover."
Reportedly, Mr. Brown has considered changing his tickets from a supporters section to something a bit less rowdy, but forgets how awful he feels post hangover by the time the next game rolls around and continues to want to deny his advancing age.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr. Brown notices a persistent back and knee pain and deliberates whether he needs to switch to craft beer because Bud Light is just, "wrecking me, ugh... god."