NEW YORK - NYCFC announced today that midfielder Frank Lampard has been given an indefinite amount of time off in order for the English player to find himself while hiking the length of the Appalachian Trail.
"It's something I've dreamed about since I was a little lad in Romford," stated Lampard to The Nutmeg News on Wednesday. "I've saved up my money so that I can freely just walk the earth and take a tour of the United States by foot. It's going to be amazing and truly a once in a lifetime accomplishment."
Reportedly, Lampard (or Caveman Rust as his trailname has been given) is planning on taking DMT the entire length of the trail in order to come to a higher experience with nature.
"This melding of man, trail and drugs will truly allow me to find my way in the world, as a human, a carbon atom and as a man," stated Lampard to his guru, Randy Delhomme. "I'm hoping to actually find why I play, and why all humans play these games. At the point that I'm ready and can see the cosmos for what it is, or at least when NYCFC stop paying me, then I'll return to play soccer again."
The Nutmeg News will have more on Caveman Rust when he retrieves his Burberry sunglasses from his supply cache drop.