BREAKING NEWS: Swearing Occurred During Chicago Fire Game

CHICAGO - BREAKING NEWS from the windy city as, reportedly, a swear word was uttered during the recent Chicago Fire home opener. 

 OH THE HUMANITY!

OH THE HUMANITY!

The Nutmeg News spoke to Dan Harrison of Buffalo Grove about the word and he had the following to say. "My Jimmy's ears have been deflowered! Never have I heard such a thing as yesterday. There was one man and he uttered a very noticeable word that I will not repeat here so as not to debase your constitution. However, my Jimmy heard this word and now he will very clearly end up a homicidal serial killer clown that won't even get into Dartmouth."

While Mr. Harrison values the porous eardrums of his son, The Nutmeg News spoke to a variety of people in the Harlem End in order to figure out what happened.

"I heard it as well," said Blaine Franklin of Lisle. "Someone said...... the 'f' word when NYCFC scored another goal. It was very audible. I was shocked, offended and downright felt abused by his lack of genteel refinement. We are not animals here, good sir. I expect the constables to effect an arrest of this violent individual and perhaps commit him to an institution for shock therapy. Pardon my language, but WHAT A BRIGAND!"

TNN reporters also spoke with Lisa Dombrowski of Downers Grove who had the following to say, "Fuck those guys who can't take a swear word," before she was ushered out of the section to be told that what she said was unbecoming of a lady.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the moral debasement of our country continues in soccer supporters groups.