Man Submits Long Form Soccer Opus And Awaits Awards

Biloxi, MS - Soccer afficianado and budding writer H. B. Melton submitted a 11,100 word long form soccer opus to blogs throughout North America as he, now, awaits awards for his insight and prowess.

 An excerpt from Mr Melton's masterpiece.

An excerpt from Mr Melton's masterpiece.

The words in Mr Melton's essay actually contain no logical pattern or discernible information, but are reportedly considered (by the author) to be some of the most important words on Soccer that have been written.

"This is my masterpiece. This is the pinnacle of long form in all its glory. It is 11,100 separate words that speak to the state of soccer and the state of football as the same thing and yet separate in holy religious communion," stated Mr Melton to The Nutmeg News on Tuesday. 

"When you partake of my masterpiece you consume my soul. And in so doing, you see through the 11,100 words what you didn't before and that is what will change the world. Brevity is the soul of wit was wrong. The soul of wit is a repeated hammering home of the same item over and over again until the reader is drubbed to a nonsensical intellectual pulp. It is then that we can extract the pulp, reform the brain and bring them to our world. In that world, all columns are, at the very least, 3100 words. Viva the long form revolution!"

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr. Melton prepares his Pulitzer Prize acceptance speech.