MONTREAL - In a press conference today, Joey Saputo announced that the Montreal Impact were pulling the internet and car privileges from Didier Drogba after his pre-game tantrum over being named to the substitutes bench.
"We had a conversation and I notified Didier that this was unacceptable behavior. I asked him what he thought his mother would think about this, and notified him that we weren't mad, just disappointed. We also then informed him that he was grounded for two weeks, and that we were pulling his internet and car privileges while he was grounded. I instructed the tech team to change the password on the wifi. That'll show him."
Reportedly, Drogba was still upset over the Impact not allowing him to purchase additional skins on Overwatch and took his tantrum to the next level when he found out that he was named to the bench for the clash against Toronto FC.
"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I WISH YOU WERE DEAD," screamed a petulant Drogba before he slammed the door on his bedroom and threw himself on his bed while texting Frank Lampard to see if he was having the same difficulties with HIS dad.
"Didier knows what he did, and the sooner he admits this to us the sooner that we can all take that family road trip to Disney World that I promised him we would take when I was deflecting attention away from the fact that we didn't have a great birthday celebration for him," stated head coach Mauro Biello.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Drogba climbs out of the window of his bedroom to sneak off to Napoli for the weekend.