Philadelphia Union Fans Wake Up Excited For Game For The First Time Since First Kick

Philadelphia, PA - Philadelphia Union fans the nation over woke up in an excited mood for the first time since the league kicked off in March and their season went into the toilet. 

 So how exactly does this 'league' thing work?

So how exactly does this 'league' thing work?

"I ...... I just don't even know what to do with myself" said Ray Miller of the Fishtown neighborhood. "I feel positive. I... I just.... feel happy. I feel light and bubbly and I almost feel hopeful. Is this what fans of other teams feel like?"

Union fans have suffered through a season that has been more akin to repeatedly hitting yourself in the toe with a sledgehammer so this sudden thrust of optimism has rendered some in the fan-base apoplectic. 

"I'm happy, I'm mad, and I'm enraged that I can't be this happy all the time" said Juliet Evans of Olney. "Making it to the final of a tournament almost makes me more upset about our idiotic ownership that pissed away everything but this tournament this season."

With Union optimism at an all time high, the front office rushed to assure the fan-base that this is just the beginning of something.

"We want our fans to know that despite being on 9 wins for the season out of 34 games and only 34 points, that this cup final is the start of something." said Union financial investor Nick Sakiewicz. "Mostly, this cup final is the end of the season and a hopeful talking point for the end of the year, but at least that's better than our current slide out of the playoffs and slide out of relevance of the market here for the last two years."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this optimism tomorrow where it has a 50/50 chance of being ground into paste and served as a horrible gruel desert to the end of the season.