Man Reluctantly Admits, "I Started Following Manchester United Because Of The Spice Girls"

Danbury, CT -  Local man, Bradley Stoltz, admitted on Saturday to a group of friends that he only started following Manchester United because of the Spice Girls.

 Fedoras and Weddings will never go out of style. Ever. 

Fedoras and Weddings will never go out of style. Ever. 

"Yeah, I was pretty shocked" said good friend Monica Blevins. "He said that he was watching the '2 become 1' video on MTV years ago and had these urges for Victoria Beckham. He admitted that he started surreptitiously following her after that and Victoria Beckham lead him to David Beckham which lead him to Manchester United. The rest is history."

While Stoltz may have one of the worst stories that has ever existed in regards to following Manchester United, he is adamant that this story is the truth.

"Who would make this up!" he exclaimed to a horrified group of United fans at his house for the recent match against Sunderland. "My lustful urges for Posh Spice lead me to the greatest club in England. I mean, if that isn't true love, I don't know what is."

While the adage, "you don't choose your team, your team chooses you" may seem trite, Mr Stoltz admitted that it seemed more of an appropriate way to find a team than his methodology.

"I'll admit that I chose with my cock, first. But after I learned to love the game, I gave up my urges for Mrs Beckham and forsook my cock while choosing United with my heart and my head. If my friends know anything about me, they know that I usually choose in this order anyway, so this likely makes complete sense," said Mr Stoltz

The Nutmeg News asked Ms Blevins about this statement and she stated the following, "He owns a signed laserdisc of Spice World that is mounted on the wall of his office. He is an idiot."