Senators Fan Admits, "If The Ottawa Fury Keep Winning, I'm Going To Have To Learn Something About Them"

OTTAWA - Senators fan Stephen St. Clair has admitted that if the Ottawa Fury continue winning in the North American Soccer League (NASL) that he might actually have to learn something about the team.

"Yeah, look I was ready to ignore them. Honestly, I was ready to talk crap about them and tell my friends to ignore the team. However, now they are winning. I think they have only lost once in 12 games. That's pretty incredible. I mean it's getting to the point where I'm going to have to talk about them with my friends and I don't know anything about the team. I mean seriously though, who plays a split schedule. What the hell is going on there?"

Did you know that Pele played for the Cosmos? DID YOU KNOW? DID. YOU. KNOW. #EatSubway

Did you know that Pele played for the Cosmos? DID YOU KNOW? DID. YOU. KNOW. #EatSubway

St. Clair stated that while he isn't going to take valuable time away from intricately obsessing about whether Milan Michalek is going to move up to the third line for the Senators, he will start glancing from time to time at the table and look up the wikipedia page for the team.

"Hockey isn't back until October, so I have some time in between then and now. I just need some help understanding who the hell is on this team and whether I should go all in with my obsessions and buy all their gear or give up on them early."

While St. Clair is having this dilemma, The Nutmeg News reached out to local soccer analysts to see if he should be bullish or bearish with his support. 

"Well, if I was going all in on Ottawa right now I would short on their future" said local Sports Bandwagon analyst Roger Gregor.

"They are about to lose their head coach to Major League Soccer after the season and will likely spin into a circle of destruction. In short, short the future bandwagon approach, go medium on the gear, but definitely get involved with some generics like talking about Paulo Junior."