RBNY Fan 100% Sure That He Hates DC United, He Just Can't Remember Why

NEW YORK - Red Bull New York fan Brandon Hoegarden is absolutely certain that he hates DC United, but he just can't remember specifically why.

"Look, I know I don't like them. That we are certain. And there's been a lot of irritants of the past seasons, and reasons why any man could dislike, but I honestly can't remember the specific reason why this is the case." said Mr Hoegarden to The Nutmeg News on Friday.

"I don't like their kits, sure. I don't like where they are from, sure. But none of this added up to hate. Maybe it was my ex-girlfriend or something in the past that converted me from relatively apathetic to DC United to full blown hate, but somewhere in the last 20 season it just blossomed."

Mr Hoegarden's current wife, Sandra, said that as long as she has known him, Brandon has been confused and yet positive in his feelings about this game.

"I asked him once if maybe he was actually a DC United Fan with latent desires related to that club, but he was certain that wasn't the case. No, he said that he authentically dislikes DC United at a very specific level even if he can't remember what level that is."

The Nutmeg News spent 20 minutes trying to jolt Mr Hoegarden's memory regarding the different issues between DC and RBNY but that only served to confused him even further. 

"Look, of COURSE I dislike them because of the 2012 playoff series and that stupid Kenny Cooper penalty kick. Of COURSE I dislike them because Eskandarian exists, but I still can't remember when it morphed into hate. I mean, it is very possible that it might just be the formation of Heineken Rivalry Week that set up this hatred.  However, it could also be because of the 20 seasons of history between the two teams that slowly and efficiently built our rivalry into something that represents a white hot flame of disgust and hatred. Probably the Heineken though."