Zurich, CH - President of FIFA, Sepp Blatter, admitted that he will skip the finale of the Women's World Cup because there isn't enough hardcore nudity from the players.
"I have informed the females that play this game that unless they cave to my expectations of rampant on the field hard core sex and nudity, that I will not attend."
Blatter reportedly wanted the finale to be played in the nude as a way to begin a "Women Of The World Cup" calendar. He also indicated that he would only attend if there was a wet t-shirt competition and a "who can drink the most tequila" half time challenge.
"They insist on playing the game like human beings, and they must know that we only attend to see their form and shape. I have said that in order to increase the tournament stature in the eyes of the world that they must play nude, and maybe even add a mudpit for the sensuality of the event."
Blatter will instead stay at his palatial estate in the high mountains of Switzerland and focus on rigging future world cup bids through his vast network of human puppets that remain at FIFA world headquarters.