Scandal Envelopes Brookhattan FC As They Fire Kit Manager For Soliciting Healthy Candy Bars

NEW YORK - The kit manager for Brookhattan FC, Darby Gilliam,  was fired today after it was revealed that he supplied Luna bars for the midfield of Brookhattan after they asked for candy.

"I didn't know we had a candy bar clause with the convenience store down the street. One of midfielders wanted to have the decision between Mounds, Almond Joy and Payday. He sent me out to make the decision and I picked up a Luna bar. Later in the day, I was told that I was going to be let go for bringing really shitty candy bar back to practice."

Players from Brookhattan agreed to speak to The Nutmeg News on the condition of anonymity and had the following to say.

"(ED Note - REDACTED player name) told him Mounds, Almond Joy or something like a Payday. No one actually wants a Luna Bar. REDACTED wanted something that increases the size of our team. He should know that he can't broker an agreement with a candy bar that no one wants."

The midfielder involved in the middle of the scandal stated, "While I ended up satisfied by the Luna Bar in question, it appears that Darby didn't understand what he was getting himself into. The other guys in the locker room are mad at his dismissal but they aren't about to challenge the status quo of Mounds Bars and Twix."

Brookhattan beat reporter Dale Cranbrook had the following to say, "Look, you play with fire organizing something like this. He should know that if you interfere with an organizations ability to make itself fatter by any means necessary that it will strike back upon you very quickly. While he likely didn't do this maliciously, when you get in between an organization and the food that it uses to survive... you won't last long."

Mr Gilliam released a final statement to the press later in the day. "I do not apologize for trying to increase the nutritional options for our midfield, I only wish that our team and our league was not in the pocket of Big Candy. I stand by my work as the kit manager for Brookhattan and am deeply disappointed in the response from the team."

The Nutmeg News will have more news on this scandal as it increases.