After a long winded article that was guaranteed to raise the hackles of every blue blooded American that loves soccer, The Nutmeg News can confirm that Frank Deford was eventually proven right by a simple search on the internet.
The Nutmeg News spoke to Daniel Williams, a senior web researcher and Harvard professor of symbology, about this trend.
The Nutmeg News: "So it is your belief that Frank Deford is correct in his assumptions of Americans and soccer?"
Williams: "Yes, although this extends into the much larger mosaic of who citizens of the United States are by and large. We are primarily, first and foremost, a nation of what the kids call 'haters'."
The Nutmeg News: "Haters? Could you elaborate?"
Williams: "The term refers to people who reflexively find themselves positioned against a cause, a sport, a lifestyle, people or nearly anything, either for a reason or just to troll other people. The United States is full of haters. We have haters of soccer, haters of good television, bad television, haters of haters, haters of Deford, haters of baseball, haters of race and gender. Primarily, this is a place where no one gets along and yet everyone also does. I mean we have groups of people in this country that would gladly take food and money away from the poor in order to inspire them to, in their words, be better. Deford is merely relying on the general statistics in the United States that indicate that out of a nation of 318 million, that easily half of that probably don't care or at least don't have a strong opinion about Major League Soccer. To be fair to soccer lovers, they should know that easily half to three quarters of this nations 318 million people don't even know that Frank Deford is alive and that he writes opinionated idiocy online."
The Nutmeg News: "So what should fans of Major League Soccer take from this column and your research?"
Williams: "Well they should know that they are in the minority majority because most Americans hate some sport of some kind or all sport. They should also know that the number of people that give a shit about Frank Deford is directly correlated with his ability to write an irritating article about soccer in the United States. That is, to say, if you are hating on Deford, you are his market; and you are giving him the ratings that the vast majority of Americans are not giving to Major League Soccer."
The Nutmeg News: "Thanks, Daniel
Williams: "Thank You."