Chivas USA making big moves

Los Angeles, CA - Citing a downturn in their current economic model with Major League Soccer, the collected group of spare parts left over from Chivas USA have decided to move away from MLS and join with the United Soccer League (USL). 

Virginia Abernathy, a spokeswoman from Chivas USA, commented on the new move. "We feel that moving from the MLS to the USL gives our club a chance to succeed and stand out among the other clubs and also create a system where our players can develop their skills and perhaps find a place in the USL."

While acknowledging that there has been a  precipitous decline in player numbers for the team, Ms. Abernathy said that Chivas USA would hold try outs in the Los Angeles area, provided that the applicants speak Spanish, English, Esperanto and a form of Kuridsh spoken in the west part of a province outside Tehran. 

"These players will be given a chance to carry on the great legacy that Jorge Vergara left us with right before the team completely imploded into nothingness" said Ms. Abernathy.

Nutmeg News was unable to gather a comment from a USL representative.