St. George, UT - Irate Real Salt Lake (RSL) fan David Moseby logged onto the social media site Reddit on Tuesday to post an opinionated letter about the league structure in Major League Soccer (MLS), support of the United States National Team and Jurgen Klinsmann only to find it downvoted.
"It was a punch in the stomach", said Moseby. "I felt like my fellow fans were letting me down by downvoting me, I mean if that doesn't show that the common fan can't even talk about his own team, his own league and the national team, then what does?"
Moseby began his epic soliloquy with the phrase "Does anyone else like promotion and relegation which they do in England and it is totally wicked smart." which immediately made 60% of the audience on Reddit tune out immediately, according to statistics released by Reddit today.
Reddit MLS moderator Larry O'Shannohan, "Well, I was just leaving a sub-reddit dedicated to unicorns felching rainbows from the golden cauldron of the leprechaun from Lucky Charms, when I noticed an alert about the rant. I mean, come on, like we have already had enough promotion relegation topics and nobody cares anymore. It was totally TL:DR. We welcome all opinions unless it is the opinions we don't welcome and then we hate them with terminal intensity."
According to Moseby, it wasn't until after the 2000th word that he really "got going" on the topic of "American heritage as it pertains to non-racist implications of dubious green-card status players" and he couldn't understand why it was (in Moseby's own words) "Downboated to Bolivian, bro".
Moseby stated that he would take his talents for analyzing complex political situations in Major League Soccer and the international soccer scene to 4chan and Twitter where they at least have the decorum to welcome a new member with open arms and the gravitas that his words demand.
The Nutmeg News verified that Moseby's article did generate 463 comments about how stupid an idea it was, 12 comments about how stupid the people were that were saying he was stupid, 4 comments in an argument over the usage of a gif, and 3 people asking which team they should support in "the MLS".