Canadian Uncomfortable With National Team Playing Well

Toronto, ON - Canadian Men's National Team (CMNT) fan Stuart Hamilton has admitted that he is incredibly uncomfortable with the way in which the national team is currently playing.

 Everyone here needs to freak out RIGHT NOW.

Everyone here needs to freak out RIGHT NOW.

"They are playing well and getting results." said Hamilton to a Nutmeg News reporter on Wednesday. "This is really not great for me because I've become so accustomed to the perpetual heaving dumpster fire that is Men's Canadian Soccer that I'm incapable of correctly processing a capable team at this point."

With some of his friends disappointed in the recent result, Mr Hamilton ranted, "They just won and tied a game and you are disappointed? Do you remember how this went the last time around? Or the time before that? Mats Sundin help me find the inner peace to deal with this! Were any of you born the last time Canada made a world cup? NO? Do you even remember what it felt like to finish 11th out of 12 teams in 2013 at the Gold Cup? NO? SHUT THE HELL UP and be extremely nervous for the rest of the year!"

When asked what Mr Hamilton would do if the national team made the world cup, he stated "FREAK THE FUCK OUT. Imma party like it is 1986 all over again!"

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr Hamilton puts on his lucky acid washed jeans and tries to find a copy of Berlin's Take My Breath Away.