Cogent Point Ruined By Utilization Of The Word, "Offsides"

TORONTO - A cogent point about the tactics of the upcoming MLS Cup game against Seattle Sounders was reportedly sullied when Toronto FC fan Phil McKenzie used the word, “offsides,” as he described Jozy Altidore, Alejandro Pozuelo, and the duty of an offensive player to stretch the field and push the back line.

The rules of the game clearly states offsides is caused by the bro not being with his bros.

“We were talking about the upcoming game and everything was going along fine,” stated good friend Rahim Wood. “Suddenly Phil said something about their, ‘offsides stats,’ and we thought he was pulling our leg. I am shocked to say that he wasn’t pulling our leg.”

Friends who overheard the conversation stated that Wood stopped McKenzie immediately and started laughing while stating, “good one…. offsides,” as McKenzie stared at him blankly and continued onward using the word offsides three more times.

“YOU CAN ONLY BE ON OR OFF SIDE,” ranted an irate Barbara Taylor. “This isn’t an option, this is ignorance. I don’t care what he said. Just the fact that he used THAT word means that whatever he said should be ignored. I won’t even continue with this conversation.”

For his part, Wood stated that he would end his friendship with McKenzie as he stated, “What else is he hiding? What else? Who actually says offsides?!”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as we talk about the correct usage of the word golazo.