Timbers Fans Vow To, "Never Stop Fighting"

Portland, OR - After a successful web campaign by the Portland Timbers front office that featured the tagline, “Never Stop Fighting,” the associated fans of the Timbers announced a vow to never stop fighting as they relentlessly turned on each other at every possible moment.


“I took the message from the front office to heart and I plan on telling every single person that disagrees with me over the next two months to go to hell,” stated Timbers fan Ben Stewart. “I’m creating a database of all the hot takes from this offseason to use against these fake fans and embarrass them on Facebook, Twitter and any other social media presence they use.”

Other Timbers fans announced their intention to Never Stop Fighting as they continued to make scarves and patches against the Timbers front office and other fans who don’t like the scarves and patches they made in the first place.

“These scarves and patches will tell the FO and the other fans that support the FO that they are scum,” stated one anonymous fan. “I’m planning on keeping all of this money because fuck all the people who want to tell me what I can do with my money.”

Our reporters spoke to Timbers Army members as well who brought up a number of recent fights among the collected fans of the team that outstrip the petty grudges that Timbers fans hold against rival fans.

“There’s nobody I hate more than this group of fans that stand over in 104,” stated TA member Jimmy “Biggs” Rutherford as he zoomed in on a group of fans in a panoramic photo taken by the Timbers photographers. “Sure I hate the Sounders, but honestly I hate our own fans way more than nearly anyone else.”

Conversely, we spoke to Mike Anderson in section 104 who detailed a list of grudges he had with certain individuals in section 106 as he announced that he would be writing a very in-depth hit piece on these individuals in the fanposts section of the Timbers SBNation blog Stumptown Footy.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Timbers Army fanbase turns on the Timbers Army Facebook account for posting unaffiliated fans talking about Never Stop Fighting.