Chicago Fire Announce Section Ban As They Have Too Many Fans

CHICAGO - The Chicago Fire announced a section ban for supporters group Sector Latino as they stated that they have entirely too many fans and that they need to reduce overhead.

We have TENS of fans! TENS. 

We have TENS of fans! TENS. 

"We have a long tradition of being supported by the community in Chicago," stated General Manager Nelson Rodriguez. "So it's important that we reduce the number of fans that we have. We have way too many fans in the stands. We need fewer fans.... or is it less.... Anyway, we just have too many fans and we need to reduce that so that we have less than 5,000 people in the stands."

The Fire experienced attendance after their 2016 season where they finished dead fucking last in the league and their 2015 season where they finished dead fucking last in the league and the 2014 season where they finished 15th out of 19 teams. 

Insiders with the team say that their recent history of being absolutely terrible is the primary reason why they decided to ban some of their only remaining passionate fans.

"We realized that if we manage to finish bottom of the league again that we will have a surging attendance again," stated one anonymous source. "We can't have the stadium filling up, that means we have more employees to not pay and we can't afford to not pay the employees that we already have."

Fans state that the only season the Fire were decent, recently, was 2017 and that appears to be more of a mirage as the recent history of the Fire is absolute garbage.

"It's amazing that they think it's ok to ban fans for something that those fans didn't even do," stated Chicago fan Tom Rivers. "But this organization has been a dumpster fire since Hauptman took the team over so it really isn't surprising."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the team considers just banning all fans.