"It's Important For Me To Obsessively Follow And Report Every Single Nuance Of Major League Soccer If I'm Going To Show Why You Shouldn't Obsessively Follow This League"

Salt Lake City, UT - Stating, "I refuse to support the cartel of MLS," soccer fan Peter Hill reportedly spent the entirety of the last two years cataloging and belittling the league to further his point that no one should follow Major League Soccer.

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"I watched nearly every game this season just so I could make gifs of all the horrible play and pick apart all their so-called talent," stated Hill to The Nutmeg News. "It's important for me to obsessively follow and report on every single nuance of Major League Soccer if I'm going to show why you shouldn't obsessively follow this league."

According to friends, Hill frequently re-tweets league figures, spokesman, and sources from his locked Twitter account so that he can belittle and abuse them privately without fear of getting into a conversation with fans of teams in the Major League Soccer.

"For a guy that doesn't like Major League Soccer he spends an inordinate amount of time tweeting and talking about it," stated good friend Jacob Hughes. "I like Peter, but his online persona is just toxic."

Hill emailed our staff a manifesto indicating why all good soccer fans in the United States should rise up against the shackles of numbing corporate conformity complete with detailed crowd statistics and financial projections for the league failing.

"It's important to know your enemy so I plan to continue doing nothing but talking about the league even though I hate it passionately," stated Hill

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Hill experiments with buying merchandise and season tickets from Real Salt Lake so that he can complain about their purchasing methodology, manufacturer and overall lack of authenticity.