Timbers Fan Talks About How Much Better It Was Way Back In MLS Cup 2015

Portland, OR - Timbers fan Randy “Bugz” Smithe reportedly waxed nostalgic about MLS Cup 2015 as he spoke about not attending MLS Cup 2018 to his group of friends at the new Kombucha Speakeasy that opened up 20 minutes ago in his SE Portland apartment building on Monday evening.


“Oh man, those were the times when you could really get to know people and it wasn’t all this corporate bullshit there is now,” stated Smithe to the group of friends that spent the day discussing how the patriarchy influenced local donut shops in the area. “We were all really bonded back then, not like now where it’s everyone for themselves.”

Smithe was ranting based upon a single tweet that he read online that incensed him so fully that he took his disgust to his close circle of friends that tolerate his ever growing beard and clear rimmed glasses.

“I remember when you could get an apartment in South East for $1300 a month and you could see Vance Joy in downtown and now it’s all this band that I don’t care about and the Timbers in this Sponsored MLS Cup bullshit. I didn’t move here in 2014 to watch everything I loved about this town disappear because my team became good. I lived through that season.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Smithe doesn’t attend a watch party because it’s just too much capitalistic group think.