CHICAGO - According to its agent, the Cabbage thrown at Steve Bruce denied meeting with US Soccer over the vacant United States Men’s coaching position despite pictures of the Cabbage and Earnie Stewart at a Whole Foods.
“Of course it is a very attractive position,” stated the Cabbage to The Nutmeg News. “The United States national team definitely has a young group. You put all our ingredients together and we can make a great cole slaw. However, I must insist that my attention remain with Aston Villa until the end of the season. I would find it highly inappropriate to comment on such rumor mongering. I leave that to the filthy lettuce from Sunderland.”
A U.S. Soccer Federation spokesperson did confirm to The Nutmeg News that Stewart, Chief Soccer Officer Ryan Mooney, and Chief Sport Development Officer Nico Romeijn conducted a conference call last week with the technical sub-committee of the USSF's Board of Directors to speak about cabbage, however they strongly denied it was in reference to the vacant position.
"We are continuing the policy of not commenting on individual candidates during the process,” stated US Soccer in a recent press release.
“However, we can state that the Cabbage thrown at Steve Bruce has a wealth of experience in the English leagues that some candidates for this position, over the years, did not possess. Any team would be lucky to have a cabbage like that as their manager.”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Cabbage thrown at Steve Bruce requests technical control over the entirety of US Soccer in order to make sweeping changes to the youth teams.