Detroit, MI - The last Detroit City FC broadcast of the year turned into a 90 minute debate over the quality and delicious nature of Faygo flavors as a brawl broke out in the announcers booth that spilled into the stands over the purported quality of Rock N Rye versus Red Pop.
Witnesses say that the kerfuffle started shortly after the 5th minute of the NPSL semi-final game between Detroit City Football Club (DCFC) and Midland-Odessa Sockers Football Club when play-by-play commentator Neal Ruhl found out that color analyst John Kreger was secretly not a Rock N Rye fan.
The first clue came from an extended diatribe on the live stream as notated by the transcript from the game, below.
Kreger - "The Detroit back-line is looking a little shaky tonight, but you definitely don't want to shake a can of Redpop Faygo soda as it is such a delicious flavor of Faygo that anything being wasted would be a crime. I think Redpop might be the best flavor that Faygo provides."
Ruhl - "I disagree, wholeheartedly. Their back-line is good but they're just not anticipating the counter attack, nor are they anticipating the underrated flavor in Grape Faygo which I think would be a better alternative to Redpop and a 4-3-3 might be a better alternative to Detroit's 4-4-2. Sometimes the classic formations work best, just like the classic Root Beer Faygo, but we all know that Rock N Rye is best."
Kreger - "If we're going to discuss classics, we're going to have to talk about Moon Mist."
Ruhl - "Moon mist isn't a classic. What, in your opinion, is the Faygo El Clásico flavors? Can you even name them?"
Kreger - "We're not here to discuss Faygo flavors. We're here to announce a Detroit City FC game and enjoy a nice cold Redpop Faygo, which is clearly superior to Moon Mist and anyone who can't acknowledge this doesn't belong in this booth. I'll bet you can't even name players from 2 seasons back and you probably sit at home drinking Peach Faygo."
Ruhl - "No, I can't name players from two seasons back, but I also don't drink Peach Faygo. I drink Rock N Rye, because I'm not a degenerate from Ann Arbor."
Kreger - "Pineapple is better than Rock N Rye."
Fans below the announcing booth claim that they realized something was wrong when, at this point, Kreger was dangled out over the booth with Ruhl screaming, "ADMIT THAT RED POP ISN'T THE BEST AND THIS WILL BE OVER. ADMIT THAT YOU ARE WRONG. ROCK N RYE. ROCK. N. RYE. ARE YOU FROM OHIO?!"
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Rock N Rye v Redpop debate rages on into 2018.