Major League Soccer Bids $250,000 In Allocation Money And Corner Upper Deck All Star Game Tickets For Kylian Mbappe

NEW YORK - Major League Soccer, today, launched a stunning bid for Monaco star Kylian Mbappe by offering Monaco $250,000 in general allocation money and corner upper deck 2017 All Star Game tickets.

Image - Reuters

Image - Reuters

"We are here to be noticed," stated Don Garber, commissioner of Major League Soccer. "Major League Soccer is a league of choice and we feel like Kylian would be a great addition to our squads based upon which team he is allocated to in the allocation process."

Rumors swirl that Mbappe, should he sign, would be allocated to the Columbus Crew who are currently atop the allocation order, but Commissioner Garber would neither confirm nor deny that.

"Kylian isn't going to the Crew," stated Garber noncommittally. "I'm absolutely committed to that not happening."

Our reporters spoke to 13 of the 86 owners of Los Angeles FC who just rubbed their hands in glee and cackled maniacally before quickly trying to figure out who would be responsible for managing the spreadsheet that keeps the allocation money totals.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mbappe expresses his desire to only move to Chivas USA.