Boise, ID - Sandra Valen, fan of the United States Women's National Team, admitted that she flipped her car in protest of the recent, "Abby Wambach witch hunt," after TMZ revealed that Wambach flipped her SUV in the front yard of a house in Portland, Oregon two years ago.
"I'm here to announce that I've already forgiven Abby for any kind of infraction she may have done in the past including any supposed DUI's, drug running, xenophobic comments, dog fighting, illicit comments about teammates, or even murder," stated Ms. Valen to The Nutmeg News on Monday. "I'm flipping my car in solidarity with Abby because this is bullshit. I'm posting this to my Tumblr account as a way to show that anyone can flip a car at any time. What someone does in the past stays in the past. There's no reason to dredge this back up. Abby told me to forget her, and I did. I literally forgot and forgave all her sins. I'm like Jesus in that way."
Ms. Valen admitted that she forgot everything about Ms Wambach except for her eternal love of Ms Wambach and the notion that, "Abby can do no wrong."
"SHE CAN DO NO WRONG. Have you seen how many goals she scored? Have you seen her trophy case? Have you seen old pictures of Abby recently and wept? I HAVE! This is just the liberal media out to get Abby and I won't stand for it."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Ms Valen starts talking about people from Germany taking her brothers job.