Beaverton, OR - Global brand Nike released their new line of international football kits affectionately called the "Lazy Collection"
"Everyone is going to love our new Lazy Collection," stated Nike director of branding and public relations Howard Carnegie. "It showcases our designers limited ability to do anything different on a large scale and their reliance on just making every single kit look virtually identical."
While Nike has long been seen as a bulwark of conformity, their ability to just make all the teams look virtually the same has shown the entire world that their ability to not do much and charge a lot for it is beyond compare.
"If we wanted to make things that are cutting edge or different we would actually have to spend more money and thought power on design," stated Nike soccer supervisor Dean Pelmot.
"The way we do things it allows one designer with photoshop the ability to just change something like the color of the short sleeves with a paint bucket and then copy in a new federation logo to create a whole new kit. That whole deal only costs us a few dollars and then we can sell the authentic kits for over $100. The Lazy Collection is just fantastic for our bottom line. Being lazy allows us to collect money, not spend it, and charge the customer more. The Lazy Collection! It's great!"
The Nutmeg News will have more on this when Nike just decides to release one standard white kit for 10 different teams with a standardized logo for the next international tournament.