MLS Announces 2017 Pre-Season To Extend Til September

NEW YORK - Major League Soccer, today, announced that the pre-season would now extend til September with only seven meaningful, counting games towards the playoffs to be played by all teams.

YOUR 2016 MLS CHAMPIONS PRE-SEASON.........KINDA!

YOUR 2016 MLS CHAMPIONS PRE-SEASON.........KINDA!

"After the template set by both Seattle and Portland, we realized that the regular season is really just the pre-season until September, so we are going to allow all teams to just not care about their win/loss records until September, since they are doing that already," stated Mark Abbott of Major League soccer. 

The league also announced that it would be eliminating the supporters shield given that it really is reflective of a time where 27 of the games are played when most teams who win MLS Cup are still trying to figure out if they are crap or good.

"There's no reason for us to celebrate a team who plays well for 34 games, when we only care about what you do for 7 games and then the playoffs," stated Abbott. "It's the only way forward. We are just compressing our season into a bout of meaningless July games that gets teams in shape to play for the playoffs. MLS PLAYOFFS! AIMLESS CROSSES INTO THE BOX AND COUNTER ATTACKING 11  BEHIND THE BALL TACTICS! CATCH THE FEVER!"

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as all teams race for the bottom in order to win the cup in 2017.