Major League Soccer Calls It Quits As Excel Spreadsheet Containing Schedule Is Deleted

NEW YORK - Major League Soccer (MLS) announced that 2015 would be the final season for Major League Soccer after an intern working on the 2016 schedule accidentally deleted the entire contents, minutes before it was to be announced.

 ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit.

"We gave it a good go, but honestly we can't replace the information in that spreadsheet so easily," stated commissioner Don Garber. "At least we entertained everyone for over 20 years. That's gotta count for something."

Reportedly LAFC has announced it will transform into a recording studio and Miami FC will still proceed to acquire land for a new beachfront resort called Beckham FC where the DJ's are always fresh and the tunes already spinning. While fans of Major League Soccer may be irate about this, Commissioner Garber had something to say for them, "You wanted the NASL? Be my guest. Garber OUT!"

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the league front office desperately looks through their Jazz Drive for a copy of a schedule from 1996 that they could restore and modify.