Red Bull New York Fan Finally Emerges From Blanket Fort Of Sadness

NEW YORK - Red Bull New York (RBNY) Fan Deryk Hannover finally emerged from his self titled "blanket fort of sadness" after the elimination of Red Bull from the Major League Soccer (MLS) playoffs on Sunday.

Now fortified with Morrissey poems and red wine!

Now fortified with Morrissey poems and red wine!

While poking his head out of a canvas flap Mr. Hannover stated, "I just needed a place to retreat from social media, soccer and the playoffs for a few days and this seemed like the best way to do it."

With a supply list that included a self curated list of lyrics by Morrissey arranged in iambic pentameter, the first season of Reading Rainbow, Roald Dahl's The BFG, and two large jugs of Carlo Rossi Blush, Mr Hannover remained inside his fort for 5 days attempting to find a way to face the day again.

"Things really turned around when I went from Morrissey to Fiona Apple to Nelly Furtado. I'm just going to say that 'I'm like a bird' really got me to a point where I could watch the highlights of Bradley Wright-Phillips from this season," said a trembling Mr. Hannover. "I'm finally understanding the arc of the season and I can enjoy it for what it was. Thankfully I have reached a point in my life where I want to continue on with a normal life rather than stay in the interior of what I call my Fort Of Sadness."

The Nutmeg News can confirm that Mr Hannover thought about returning when he checked his twitter feed, but he stayed strong and remained committed to his recovery.