Chicago Fire Fan Remembers He Actually Loves The Cubs

CHICAGO - Fire fan Trent Ostnis finally remembered that he is a Chicago Cubs fan as the Cubs entered into a small period of success for the first time in seven years.

"Well, I've been a Chicago Fire fan since the team started, and I was a Sting fan before that back in the NASL, but honestly I'm starting to remember that I was also a Cubs fan at one point and they are winning and dear god I need something to brighten up my day right now," said Mr Ostnis to us while purchasing a white "win" flag.

YOU DIDN'T HELP.

YOU DIDN'T HELP.

"It's been awful watching the slow, painful death that the Fire have suffered under Hauptman and Yallop over the last few years and it was compounded by me not being a big enough Hockey fan to jump on the Blackhawks bandwagon. However, I can get behind the Cubs. I really can."

Sociologist say that locations like Chicago, New York and Los Angeles offer a healthy level of distraction for any fan of a sports team. We spoke to Dr. Fritz Grewst from the Heinz Commission about this, "Yes, places that have multiple sports teams that all don't suck at the same time offer a sports fan the ability to escape his situation for a moment. However, places with only one or two professional sports teams will inevitably see their passions turn to obsessions when the results don't go their way."

As for Mr Ostnis he says, "I just know I'm not spending any money on the Fire til they figure out what the hell they are doing. I'm all about the Cubs now. Hauptman Out, please."