Minneapolis, MN - The Minnesota United T.I.F.O crew "1867 Ultras" reportedly shelved their original design motto of "No Bad Ideas" after receiving a number of really bad ideas for their upcoming painting projects.
Like this but EEEEEEVIL. You know what I mean,.... like laser eyes, a mustache or something.
"We started this crew with the idea of really making a difference in the stands and being welcoming to everyone and their ideas," stated 1867 Ultras member James "Woof" Peterson. "However, talk about your all-time backfires. It turns out that people really don't know good design or banner ideas from a hole in the ground filled with bad cheese and moldy bananas."
After a recent pitch session, Woof and his friends Carl "Ace" Anderson, Samuel "Bronco" Rodriguez, and Matt Williamson discussed not taking any idea from anyone, anymore.
"Good god, some of the shit we got," stated Anderson to our reporter. "I really wanted to believe that people, if inspired, would come up with some great banner ideas. Instead I've just steadily lost faith in humanity and I don't believe we really ever need to listen to another half baked idea about Groot and Rocket ever again. Someone suggested a dark cloud. No message, but just a dark cloud. Look, we get it.... you want a giant black blob that we hold up. Sounds epic."
According to people who attended the pitch session, a number of ideas were thrown around including one bold statement that was given as the following stammering disjointed message, "how about a walleye.... like an angry walleye... like an EVIL angry walleye, you know. Like a fish that will just as soon kill you as look at you. Or you know maybe like a mosquito, but you know... a big one....like, um... sucking the blood out of our opponents ON a walleye. A mosquito Walleye combo, with like the mosquito wearing chaps and the chaps have like the United logo on it.."
Despite the terrible ideas, Peterson remains convinced in a democratic method as he stated, "The problem isn't the people, it's that their ideas are dumb. We just need better ideas and if that means that we stop listening to the people who give them and just come up with our own ideas, then so be it. I don't know what you call that, but it is still democracy as far as I'm concerned, we just aren't listening to the people anymore."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Peterson sits and nods through an exquisite conversation regarding an Oasis banner, but done in the style of fairground caricatures.