English Team's Relegation Battle Killing Man's Passion For Local Team

Houston, TX - Stoke City and Houston Dynamo fan Gerald Coleman admitted that the seemingly unending four month winless streak by Stoke City that plummeted them into a relegation battle has completely killed all his passion for local team Houston Dynamo as the general malaise from watching one of his teams painfully slip into the Championship eats away at his soul.

C'mon they've one once in the last 15 games! That's great!

"Between Stoke City slowly unraveling and the Dynamo's start to the season I think I'm just completely numb to soccer," stated Coleman to The Nutmeg News. "Everyone keeps talking about how much fun a relegation battle is, but if your team is freefalling to the Championship by failing repeatedly over the course of five months it doesn't seem nearly as much fun as they say it should be."

Friends and fellow fans of the Dynamo were reportedly thrilled to be able to watch their local club again, but at the recent watch party for the game against the San Jose Earthquakes a despondent Coleman stated, "they are just going to fuck this up, like all the teams in my life," right before the Dynamo surrendered a 2-1 lead on the road.

"Soccer is just so dumb, and I want to spend my time doing anything else at this point," mumbled Coleman as his eyes glazed over at the site of Jahmir Hyka scoring for the Earthquakes in the 85th minute. 

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Coleman tries to look on the bright side of figuring out how to watch games in the Championship later this year.