"Zlatan Is Old As Shit!" States 38 Year Old Man

Oklahoma City, OK - 38 year old soccer fan Frank Stewart stated, "Zlatan is old as shit!" to friends, on Sunday.

He's practically ancient!

The 36 year old Ibrahimovic signed with LA Galaxy for the rest of the year irritating the 38 year old Stewart who only knows that Zlatan has, "been around forever," and, "Didn't he retire already?"

Friends say that Stewart was irrationally upset that the league would pay an over the hill player so much money to come here and retire. 

"I just can't believe that they are even paying him a million dollars," ranted Stewart to our reporter. "It's ridiculous that some over the hill has been is getting paid anything to join MLS. They need to have the youth come in and get rid of the old legacy players."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Stewart looks for a new job that will pay him what he feels that he is worth as an experienced professional.