Topeka, KS - "It has to be west of East Ham," stated new Hammers fan and David Moyes advocate Jim Watson who attempted to place the location of the London club somewhere in the north of England for some reason.

"I'm very excited for Moyes. I think he will get the best out of Chicharito," stated Watson to The Nutmeg News. "He was a Manchester manager. I think he is going to be great. It's going to take us to the top of the league again. Now, I just need you to tell me. Is there a North Ham on this map?"

Watson spent 30 minutes agonizing over the various locations in the Devon area before settling on the fact that West Ham is definitely not Devon, or vice versa. However, he remained upbeat about the chances of the Hammers with Moyes at the helm as he boldly predicted, "I think we will be making it into the playoffs with Moyes."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Watson gingerly circles a push pin around Berwick-upon-Tweed.