Red Bull Fan Relieved As He Slips Back Into Warm Embrace Of Off-Season Drama

NEW YORK - Red Bull New York (RBNY) fan Kevin Adams reportedly sighed with relief as he slipped back into the warm embrace of Off-Season drama with the swirling news of front office strife.

"Look, just superimpose Marsch over Petke and we will call it good"

"I was getting concerned that we might have continuity, player acquisitions, a pre-season and then the season," stated Adams from his walk up in Flatbush. "However, this whole thing just means another season of the Metro way."

Adams is referencing, of course, the swirling rumors of Jesse Marsch leaving to coach Red Bull Salzburg followed by the denial of this followed by the rumors of Ali Curtis cancelling a public appearance followed by who else knows.

"It feels good to be back at this again. Honestly, I was worried that we might have three years of stability. It's nice to just wake up and have people freaking out again, insane conspiracy theories and jokes about the Ali Curtis 300 page plan. I'm hoping that we can move into conversations about Petke, again. I might even watch THAT press conference. This whole situation is like slipping into a warm pair of slippers, sitting on a comfortable couch and drinking a warm glass of brandy."

Adams closed out our interview by logging onto MetroFanatic and posting a conspiracy theory rant about whether Curtis is being let go by Red Bull corporate to pave the way for Jurgen Klinsmann. 

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as fans debate spending money on another Red Bull OUT billboard by the exit to Red Bull Arena on I-280